There is a sad myth about women and men that runs rampant in our country. It is the belief that men and women are different.
A very popular book describes the sexes as originating from different planets. And to a degree there is some accuracy contained in this simplistic but terribly misleading idea.
No, we do not come from different planets and yes, we do, at first, on the surface seem to have rather divergent views about life and relationships. OK, I will give you that.
But there is an enormous price to pay for any couple who gobbles down the separate planet idea and that price is intimacy.
My love and I are intimate at a level most couples cannot hope to achieve, not because we are specially gifted but because we have come to know and experience a truth that must sound alien to the different planet believers. We know that women and men are the same.
We are the same. Oh, a few of our body parts are different (thank God!). We can celebrate that. But just beneath the surface we want and need and feel and hope and desire exactly what the opposite sex seeks. The same stuff.
I look at my love and I see a human being whose heart looks just like my heart, whose lust and desire are identical to mine, whose fears and hopes and dreams and hurts and joys are not different in even the slightest degree. This wondrous realization is the doorway to an intimacy that is outside the reach of all different planet couples.
These couples will look across the sheets and see a strange animal from a place they have never been and can never visit and will remain doomed to thin love, impoverished sex and adolescent intimacy. And they for certain will never know the exquisite reasons that human beings are the only mammals that make love face to face.
So here, my dear reader, is my invitation to you. Take a moment today and look carefully and closely at that person you love. Imagine you can see beyond the surface you are so familiar with and look into his or her precious heart. Allow your own heart to open and fill with love for this special individual who has chosen to spend their life with you.
Now ask the crucial question: What if this person truly has the same needs that I have?
Now stop and take note of what you discover. If your partner needs love, acceptance, tenderness, understanding, forgiveness, appreciation just like you, then what now? What now?
The answer is simple and wonderful. Meet those needs. Today… and tomorrow… and the day after. Your relationship will become something more wonderful than you could imagine.
Matthew Anderson, D.Min. is a nationally recognized weight loss coach, columnist, motivational speaker and author of The Prayer Diet, Eating to Kill, and Why You Want to Be Fat. He also specializes in helping individuals survive and thrive during major life crises and can be contacted at www.DraUSA.com or (561) 362-4049.